The Effects of PTSD

I have these dreams.
I'm rushing, rushing to do my daily task
Everything is fine
I am still alive
Then there it is
those dreams
those death dreams
again and again and again
I sweat and sweat and sweat
but I am still asleep
I do not know it nor feel it
I think that horrible deadly accident is about to happen
the train is squealing
people everywhere
lights flashing, noise
more noise
then it happens
I am not alive, but I am not dead
what the hell has happened
nothing
It was just a bad dream or maybe it was a panic atttack
or maybe it was just another subway train
greeting me and reminding me that someday
it won't be a dream or a flashback.